Went to the pub last night and Sally said things I didnβt know, that I wish I had the knowledge and vocabulary to say - so I asked her to put it down for us. Youβre welcome. Guest post by @sallywhitewrites. Please give her a follow. She may make you think differently.
On Tuesday it was Pancake Day. We celebrated with pictures of pancakes piled high and floury faces and doughy disasters. Not one person raged against it: not one person demanded to know why pancakes get a special day but pork pies donβt.
On Thursday it was World Book Day. We celebrated by getting out the glue gun and cobbling together four thousand Whereβs Wallys. Not one person has grumbed and griped about the lack of a DVD Day.
On Friday it is International Womenβs Day and bet ya bottom dollar there will be a fragile white male snivelling about the lack of a Menβs Day and the fact that feminism has βgone too farβ.
Here are two staple responses for you to have in your pockets for these predictable complaints: 1) International Menβs Day is 19th November. 2) Really? When? Give three specific examples.
Iβve learnt the best way to counter ignorance is with a question. Someone once taught me the power of the phrase How fascinating β tell me more. Try it in the face of righteous fury- it works because either they have a legitimate point (ie, the βwhite womenβ cisterhood effect of IWD) and you will learn something. Or they will splutter and mutter about suffragettes and horses and you can raise an eyebrow and wither them.
And if that doesnβt work- if they still ask you to βprove itβ- use these well-researched and irrefutable facts from Criado Perezβs excellent book, Invisible Women that prove the damage of a patriarchy.
Women are 71% more likely to be injured in a car accident (and 17% more likely to die) than a man is because crash test dummies are based on average male weight, height and muscle distribution.
Mobile phones are designed to fit in the average-sized male hand.
Googleβs βcomprehensiveβ health app could measure your copper intake (?!) but has no way of recording your period.
When it was first launched, Siri could find you a prostitute but not an abortion clinic.
Female Viagra was tested on 28 men but only three women.
Women make up only 11% of HIV cure trials.
Voice recognition is 70% more likely to recognise a manβs voice.
Female police officers are wearing stab vests design for (bust-free) males.
The research in to the effects of chemicals in nail polish, shellacs, polish removers and gels is pretty much non-existent despite them being linked to miscarriage, cancer and lung disease.
The problem is two-fold: there are not enough women in science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM) and women are less visible. We all know that the presumed pronoun is βheβ. We assume male. Women are the exception (notice in supermarket aisles βToiletriesβ and βWomenβs Toiletriesβ for example). Men actually talk more than women but women are perceived to be more talkative. Is that because we are less used to listening to women? We need men to see us as humans with the equal right to safety and life rather than just our βwives and daughtersβ or background noise.
These facts alone should put pay to the complaint that feminism has βgone too farβ. But if not, just let them know that out of 144 similarly developed countries, the UK came 53rd for equality: 91 countries are doing better than us. According to the governmentβs own research, the pay gap is 9.6% and, at this rate of progress, we wonβt have pay parity for another 97 years. Too far? Pal, we are not going far enough or fast enough.
But I get the temptation to bristle: I understand why men who benefit and are oblivious to gender inequality might be defensive. Iβve been there too. Recently Iβve begun to think about how I benefit from being white and middle class. I started listening to voices that are outside of my echo chamber. Iβve starting thinking about feminism in light of how others might experience it. Iβve put some hard graft and emotional labour in to becoming a better intersectional βfeminist in progressβ. Iβve winced when considering βwhite saviour complexβ and flinched in recognition of my own exclusion of working class voices. It is hard work. But it isnβt the job of BAME women (black, Asian and minority ethnic) to spell it out for us again and again: itβs our job to listen once and do the work.
Follow people who have a different perspective and hear them when they speak. Go, now, to Instagram and follow Stand for Humanity. Candice Brathwaite. Yes, Iβm Hot in This. Niqabae Chronicals. Jameela Jamil. Go to podcasts and listen to The Everything Project episode Being Black. Ask questions. Look around. And what ever you do, donβt say you βdonβt see raceβ because if thatβs the case, youβre not looking hard enough.
Use International Womenβs Day to reflect. Consider how far weβve come in the last twelve months. Weβve outlawed upskirting. Weβve elected more women in to American politics than ever before- including representation of women of colour. Weβve repealed the 8th amendment and empowered women in the Republic of Ireland. Weβve unveiled a statue of Millicent Fawcett. Weβve seen Rwanda elect a parliament that is 60% women. Weβve put the shame back on the perpetrators with men like Phillip Green and R Kelly finally being held accountable.
Weβve shouted and protested and gathered and listened and roared.
And now we keep going and we keep fighting until we all have equality.
By Sally White, at sallywhitewrites.com