If you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and like you can’t do it anymore you aren’t alone. It is something that a lot of women experience at different times throughout their motherhood journey.
For many women I talk to, they are juggling so many different elements of their lives and the mental load that comes with that is exhausting. Making decisions, remembering things and thinking in general literally, zaps a huge amount of your physical energy. Couple all of that with sleep deprivation or the ‘mum taxi duties’ it is no wonder you get to points of feeling like you can’t do it anymore.
So, what can you do when it gets like this? Here are some practical strategies for you to try:
1. Share the load. Ask for Help.
Communicate with your partner, family, friends. Don’t expect them to know you are feeling lost under the motherload. I remember hitting a point after the birth of my second child, when I was frustrated with family members for not offering to help me or appearing to get what I was struggling with. My mum said “I had no idea. You appeared to have it all under control and I didn’t want to intrude”. So, don’t hope someone will notice. Ask for help. Delegate.
2. Micro-moments of self-care
Finding ways to bring little doses of nourishment throughout your day / week, will help you feel like you have a bit more capacity to deal with the juggling. Some of my favorite ones are:
Listening to music / podcast / audio book whilst you are doing jobs around the house, or driving, or walking to pick the children up from school. Something that leaves you feeling calm, or inspired or energized.
Getting outside, even for a few moments, will bring momentary respite to your brain. Watch the clouds, or the trees moving in the wind, watch the rain bouncing in the puddles.
Wear something that makes you feel better, this could be as simple as a favorite scarf or your favourite lippy.
Seek out humour. YouTube Cat videos can be a great source of laughter for a few moments.
Make a mindful cuppa. Check in with all your senses whilst making a drink – what do you hear, see, smell, touch, taste. Focus on that for a few minutes.
Stretch or move. This doesn’t need to be a full yoga routine, keep it simple.
3. Brain dump
Empty your head of everything onto a piece of paper, in no particular order, with no judgement. Get it all out. So often mums I work with are scared to do this because it feels like a huge monster in your head. I promise you once you get it out on paper, it will be nothing like it feels at 3am whizzing round in your head, in the dark.
Once it is all out and on paper, then you can prioritize. What really is priority? What can wait? What can be delegated to someone else?
Please remember, you don’t need to do it ALL. You can have boundaries, and say no. You can ask people for help and support. Find the rhythm and balance that works you and your family – be flexible and kind to yourself along the way.
About Sam James:
Sam is a life coach, working with women to help them find ways to juggle life in a healthy way for them. She takes people from a place where they feel like their heads are going to explode with everything they are juggling, to a place of clarity and knowledge about how to truly look after their needs.
Sam also creates a flexible, practical diary that gives you the space to plan and organise your life, along with gentle nudges to help you feel inspired and motivated throughout the year. It is called Stop the Flitter: Your Life, Your Way and you can buy it here.
Find Sam on Instagram @samjames_mumcoach, you can also visit her website samjamescoaching.co.uk for more practical tips. She sends “perfect timing” emails too, which you can sign up to here.
